Hairy Areola

On breast day we start with nipples and work our way in.
“Everyone has nipples. Girls, boys, men, women, we all have nipples. Nipples are the part that stick out. They resemble showerheads with twenty or so tiny openings through which breast milk flows from a nursing mother. What makes that such a brilliant design?”

Invariably the students identify that pin-sized openings help keep infection out and numerous openings keep everything flowing even if a few get plugged up.

We continue to the next visible landmark, which I initially refer to as the pepperoni. “The pepperoni-shaped, darker area behind and surrounding the nipple is called the areola. Areola is pronounced ‘air-ee-o-la’. Say it three times.”

“Areola, areola, areola!” the class chants.

A student’s hand is up, “Could you please spell that?”

“Yes, a-r-e-o-l-a.” I answer.

Suddenly he is up heading for the bookshelf in the back of the room, “Listen to all those vowels! I need a dictionary. What is the plural?” We all wait as he locates the word. I hear a few mumbles about how areola sounds a lot like Ariel, the Little Mermaid.

Then he declares,"Yes, listen to this. The plural of areola is: ‘areolae’ or ‘areolas’. What great scrabble words!”

I ask, “With whom do you play scrabble?”

“My parents.”

"Oh" I say, wondering if I should cringe.

“One more thing about areolas, or areolae – which ever you prefer. Occasionally a few hairs sprout around the areola. Yes, some of us are doomed to have hairy areolas. ‘Hairy areola’ sort of rhymes. So you'll never forget how to pronounce it - say 'hairy areola' three times.”

They shout, “Hairy areola, hairy areola, hairy areola!”

Poetry.






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Medical term for penis

Students don’t always know the proper terms for body parts. Families use their own names like po-po, nyeh nyeh, wadoo, lucky, goodie, peach and the like in reference to certain areas or organs. In order to be on the same page during class I encourage the use of proper terms, or as the students call them, medical terms.

A few years ago in a coed 6th grade sex ed class we were in the thick of a discussion about periods, tampons and pads. Five girls had their hands in the air.
I was thrilled to see a boy had his hand up. I called on him and he said, “When we get to the male anatomy, I know the medical term for penis.”
I responded, “Great. Let’s get through these questions then you can start us off.”

I was absolutely intrigued. What did he have in mind? What was he going to say? What could possibly be a medical term for penis, except penis?

We finished up and I called on him, “OK, male anatomy, start us off.

He boldly stated, “The medical term for penis is rectum.”

No one laughed. No one said a thing. They just looked to me for confirmation.

So with eyebrows raised I said, “I am so glad you said that. Rectum actually refers to the last part of the bowels. It carries solid waste – poop. The rectum holds poop before the anus releases it. The rectum is in the back (point point) the penis in the front (point point). The medical term for penis is penis.”

Whew.

Homo Metro Bi, oh my

“You said a friend of yours is gay and that she is the president of a college.”

“Yes, she is,” I said.

“But how can she be gay?”

I was surprised at this student’s attitude- generally they’re more open-minded. “What do you mean?” I asked.

“If she is a female, how can she be gay?” he persisted.

Got it. “Gay refers to anyone who romantically likes someone of the same gender. So females can be ‘gay’ and males can be ‘gay’. The term used more often with gay females is lesbian.”

“Oh, Ok. What is homosexual then?”

“It is a more clinical or categorical word for gay. Homo means same. So, a homosexual is someone who likes someone of the same sex.”

Another hand goes up, “I thought homo meant human being. Like homo sapien?”

“You are right, it does. Homo sapien means ‘wise man’. How interesting.”

A hand goes up (student ‘A’), “Why are homosexuals always at hair salons?”

Another student (student ‘B’) asserts, “They are not homosexuals!”

‘A’ says, “Yeah they are. They are always talking about hair and nails with all their lady clients.”

‘B’ responds, “They are not homosexuals, they are metrosexuals.”

‘A’ looks so confused, along with most of the class. This is so interesting.

I offer, “You are both bringing up great points. Male homosexuals on TV and in movies are often portrayed as flamboyant and expressive with overtly feminine gestures and mannerisms. This is not a norm - it is a stereotype.”

A hand goes up, “That can be damaging. We are talking about stereotyping in another class.” He looks thrilled at the inter-curricular connection. Love it when that happens.

Continuing, “Metrosexual is a relatively new word referring to males who are more metropolitan per se. They are comfortable shopping, getting their hands manicured and their hair and skin cared for in a salon, for example. I think you were talking about two different words in the same location: homosexual- the stereotype of who might work at the spa and metrosexuals- who might make appointments at the spa.”

A hand is up, “Well, what is a heterosexual?”

“Oh, good question,” I explain, “Heterosexual refers to people of the opposite gender who like each other, like a woman and a man, girl and boy, or your mom and dad.”

Another hand, “What does straight mean? Because it sounds like it should be same- not different, but I think that isn’t right.”

“Glad you asked. Straight does sound like it could mean ‘the same’, like homo. Actually, it means heterosexual- different, male and female, mainstream, straight ahead – not different from the majority. My-oh-my all these terms get confusing.”

Another hand goes up,” What is bi-sexual?”

Back to the Guidelines

Reviewing the guidelines before class is a part of the routine. After a student shared the 'No Gender Bashing' guideline a student jokingly said, "Yeah, like, you can't say....'Men suck'."
The student next to him (student 'A') said, "No, women suck," followed by a head pumping with his mouth in the shape of an 'O'.

Here we go.

I ask, "Did everyone hear and see what 'A' said?" Most of the class did not.
I ask 'A' to repeat himself and the gesture.
Head bowed, he repeats the words but not the gesture. I ask him to please repeat the oral sex gesture he used to accompany his comment.
Red in the face and with none of the previous enthusiasm he repeats the gesture, mouth in a lower case 'o'.
"It feels degrading, and insulting, doesn't it?" I ask.
He nods ---meaning yes, not a continuation of the gesture.

I add, "Besides that comment being demeaning to women, it is not entirely true. About 10% of the population is gay. Oral sex is someone using their mouth to sexually stimulate someone else's genitals. That means oral sex- in the gesture presented earlier today- is not only done by women, but men, as well. I point to the yin yang, "Women suck, men suck."

A hand goes up. "Ten percent are gay?"

I say,"Yep, give or take a few percentage points, that seems to be the going statistic. Ten percent of the world - meaning doctors, lawyers, actors, singers, researchers, architects, consultants, engineers on and on are gay. My gay friends do all sorts of things: run hotels, market products, dance, bake and one just got a new job - she is the president of a college."

A hand goes up, "Why don't I have any gay friends?"

I smile and say, "You are in 7th grade - at an all boys school."

69 continued

I draw a 6 and a 9 cuddled in as close as possible, add smiley profiles and odd pipe-cleaner-like legs to each digit. It looks like a yin yang and a dollar sign have collided.

I explain, “69 refers to a sexual position that looks somewhat like the number 69 (point point). This is someone’s head (point) and this is their partner’s crotch (point), and this is the other person’s head up here (point) and here is the other person’s crotch (point). Each partner stimulates the genitals of the other partner with their mouth, orally. In this position both partners are performing oral sex on each other.”

Silence.

A hand goes up, “Wait.”
“Yes?” I ask.
“ Gross.”
The whole class chimes and chokes with similar sentiments.

A front row hand goes up, “OK, males have penises that a mouth can go on but women don’t, they don’t have penises.”

I respond, “I am glad you said that. Females do not have penises, but they do have the same nerves for sexual pleasure that penises do. These nerves form a clitoris, a bundle of flesh located in the front of their crotch. On a female, the clitoris is where the base of the penis is on a male. The clitoris sits inside of the labia, the lips, so it can be hard to see. We will cover all this again when we get there in Puberty from Head to Toe.”

A hand goes up, “May I close the classroom door?”

69

After a small scuffle over whose turn it is next, a student volunteer draws a yin-yang on the board. This symbol, for our class, stands as a wee reminder that roughly half of the population -that being the female population- is not represented in our all male school, middle-school sex ed classes. We also review the 4 class guidelines, (see first blog entry if curious or forgetful). We do a lot of reminding.

Ready to begin our Puberty from Head to Toe unit, I reinforce to the students that if a question comes up, please ask it. "You may feel hesitant-that is normal. Answering your questions, helping you navigate some of the foggy terrain that goes along with hitting puberty, feeling sexual, not hitting puberty or not feeling sexual- that is what this class is for. This time of life can be shameful or hilarious or it can be horrifying at times. So go ahead and ask questions, everyone will learn from them. The answers, as you know, probably have to do with hair and fluid anyway."

As an ice breaker, actually a shatterer, I purposely offer an example:
After a student saw a James Bond movie he asked, "James Bond had a girlfriend in the movie and her name was Christmas. He said at one point, 'I have to go, Christmas only comes twice a year' - I think that was sexual, was it?"
That was a great question for him to ask. I said, "Yes, it was sexual, you were right to think so." Then we went on to explain orgasms and slang terms for orgasms in that class.

This class sat silent.

I said, "OK, we have to define 3 things before we begin Puberty from Head to Toe."

A hand goes up, "What is 69?"

"Great question, thanks for asking." I turn to the board, nod at the yin yang, and begin a rather similar drawing.

Summer's Eve Twin Pack

The boys were so pumped. This is an all male school, by the way.
"Where did you get them?"
"CVS, just this morning", I said.
"Can we take them home?"
"No, they belong to the school", I said.
"They're so cool."

One of the students asked a great question last week, "We call each other this all the time, but, what is a douche bag?" That is the reason I brought in the douches - a Summer's Eve Twin pack.

I explained to the class that a douche is similar to an enema with two major exceptions:
1) Douching is contraindicated and enemas are indicated. Indicated in medical jargon means recommended for a certain situation. Whereas contraindicated in medical jargon means do not do it, at all.
2) The location of the tube.

I noticed one boy pretending to squeeze the douche into his own crotch, showing off for the boy next to him. I asked him to please refrain from applying the douche.

Continuing, I went on to illustrate and explain that an enema is used for constipation. It is performed by draining a bag of fluid through a tube into someone's anus in order to flood and flush out the contents of the rectum.
Gagging noises from the class.

Using the same illustration I changed the location of the tube one inch forward to the vaginal opening and explained that this is where the fluid from a douche would drain. The reason douching is contraindicated- not recommended - is that it messes up the natural balance of the vaginal environment. The imbalance can lead to infections.

I ask if males shoot water up their penises in order to clean them out? All boys hands slid protectively under the tables. No, one had heard of it. Me neither.
Then one hand went up? "Why are douches even made then?"

Good question.

Getting Through The Guidelines

Teaching sexuality education is a riot, even after 18 years. It is a balancing act of information giving, respect, humor, mayhem and guidance – no different than parenting really. I believe student’s questions are gold. If a child is brave enough to ask it, an adult best be brave enough to answer it. As their bodies change, questions formulate; those questions snowball and often roll off into, what is to them, unknown territory- uncharted terrain.
So, before any unit on Puberty From Head To Toe, we discuss guidelines for navigating this new terrain:

1) Do not laugh at the questioner, laugh at the answer. They are bold to ask it and the answer probably has to do with hair and fluid and things that grow or wobble. We are all bound to learn from any question.

2) Frame all questions and comments anonymously. Do not ask a question like this, "I saw my sister and her boyfriend doing beep. What is that?" Stop. The whole class probably knows your sister and her boyfriend. Change the names to, " I saw two teenagers doing beep. What is that?"

3) Do not gender bash- even your own gender. Keep your responses positive - no one can control all that hair and fluid or all that growing and wobbling. Say, "Really, who knew!" and "Good Garden seeds!" and "No nonsense!" instead of 'gross, sick, disgusting, yuck, no way, that-is-messed-up or any of the billion other negatives.

4) Please let me answer all questions unless otherwise indicated. There is a great deal of information discussed in one sex ed class, it is important that I know the content of information learned in, and eventually leaving, the classroom. If someone asks, 'What is a vulva?' Their friend might lean over and say, 'Oh, my parents just got a new one, it is fast and clean and it smells great." No, that's a Volvo, not a vulva.

After getting through the last guideline a student raised his hand, "Well, what is a vulva?"
My response, "Great question - we will talk about it a lot more when we get there in our Head to Toe discussion. For now, it is everything in a female's crotch except her bottom. It is the equivalent to what a male has in his crotch except his bottom. Down there a male can urinate, reproduce and have sexual pleasure- a female's vulva does all those things, too: urination, reproduction and sexual pleasure. Remember that word vulva."
Another hand goes up, "What is a uvula?"
My response, "AHHHHHH, that thing hanging in the back of your throat."
Another hand, "What is a douche bag?"
My response, "So glad you asked, I am bringing some to the next class."